A broken shell of a manMany of us go through life struggling with certain things, wondering at various points and time why. Things that push our buttons or cause us to become paralyzed. Things that cause us to struggle in our ability to relate to others. Things that have become toxic and seem to spill out at the most inconvenient times.
With a little boy inside
With hurts and wounds
I could no longer hide
If we were all honest, we'd have to admit that none of has had the perfect life. The repercussions of things that happened during our childhood can have devastating effects upon the rest of our life, if not acknowledged and dealt with appropriately. But, oftentimes we've buried or repressed these things so deeply that we are no longer able to readily recall them.
When traumatic events occur during childhood, we find various coping mechanisms. Ways to mask or numb the pain. Unfortunately, many of us resort to self-destructive behaviors or tendencies. They may not appear to be destructive at the onset. But, their long-term effects are negative and usually snowball as time goes on.
As a young boy, growing up in house full of women, I felt abandoned and alone. Yes, my mother loved me, cared for me and did the best that she could, raising four children as a single mother. Yet, I longed for my father's affection, affirmation and companionship.
My father and I have had a strained relationship over the years. He has said some very hurtful things to and about me on numerous occasions. Though, I have tried to put these things aside and just move on, I've had to acknowledge the depths of their impact and affect upon other areas of my life and relationships.
I've struggled to relate with my own wife and children over the years, as a result. I've fought to overcome feelings of inadequacy, rejection and depression. I've had to learn that, as a father, I should apologize and ask for forgiveness when I've unnecessarily or unintentionally hurt or done wrong to my wife and children. And, most importantly, I've learned to value of my need forgive, even when never asked.
Sometimes in order to move forward, it is necessary for us to look back. We cannot change the past. But, there are times when we must deal with the hurt and wounds of the past in order to find the healing that we need to continue to grow and connect with those around us in healthy and productive ways.
Thankfully, I found help and healing in the words and loving affirmation of our heavenly Father. His Word declares to us, in Psalm 68:5 that He is a Father to the fatherless. As I look back, His faithfulness, provision, protection and favor have been undeniable.
Are there areas in your life where you need the touch of the Great Physician? He longs to make you whole and bring rest to your weary soul.
